2/02/2007
Local Dog "Disgusted" With the Swill You Expect Him to Eat
(Toledo, OH) Hopper, a local canine of uncertain ancestry, expressed "total disgust" with the off-brand dog food his owners recently purchased.
"What kind of dried-up, crusty old rat turds are these?" he asked Toledo Tales reporters. "I'll bet you bastards have never eaten any of this crap, or you'd never think of feeding it to a dog. That is, unless you are trying to kill me or something."
Hopper said that he overheard a disturbing conversation between his owners last week.
"The bitch was talking about how tight money is, and asshole there brought me into the picture, saying: 'That damned dog eats better than we do,'" he recalled. "The next thing I know they're dishing out bowls of this moldy garbage. Like it's my fault he snorts coke, or she has 100 pairs of shoes."
Would any of YOU eat this shit? I didn't think so
Hopper said that he is currently "weighing his options" about other domestic possibilities.
"Look, I'm young, and I still have a few good years left. Maybe I can run off and play the 'cute stray' game," he said, scratching his left ear. "Or maybe the dog warden will pick me up, and these idiots will forget about me. This shit, though, has got to go."
"What kind of dried-up, crusty old rat turds are these?" he asked Toledo Tales reporters. "I'll bet you bastards have never eaten any of this crap, or you'd never think of feeding it to a dog. That is, unless you are trying to kill me or something."
Hopper said that he overheard a disturbing conversation between his owners last week.
"The bitch was talking about how tight money is, and asshole there brought me into the picture, saying: 'That damned dog eats better than we do,'" he recalled. "The next thing I know they're dishing out bowls of this moldy garbage. Like it's my fault he snorts coke, or she has 100 pairs of shoes."
Would any of YOU eat this shit? I didn't think so
Hopper said that he is currently "weighing his options" about other domestic possibilities.
"Look, I'm young, and I still have a few good years left. Maybe I can run off and play the 'cute stray' game," he said, scratching his left ear. "Or maybe the dog warden will pick me up, and these idiots will forget about me. This shit, though, has got to go."
Labels: dog food, Dogs, unhappy dogs
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Often we can also be found saying,
"Ranger eats better than we do!"
But we love our dawg, that looks like an older version of Hopper
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/95/269919001_a69aa911af.jpg
He often gets fed off our plates regardless of the pricey dog food that he resorts to once he realizes he is on his own for the night.
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"Ranger eats better than we do!"
But we love our dawg, that looks like an older version of Hopper
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/95/269919001_a69aa911af.jpg
He often gets fed off our plates regardless of the pricey dog food that he resorts to once he realizes he is on his own for the night.
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