.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


TARTA Touts New Rickshaw Service

(Toledo, OH) The Toledo-Area Regional Transportation Authority (TARTA), facing dwindling ridership and high fuel costs, announced that it will begin offering rickshaw service throughout the city of Toledo.

"We figured this service would be a great way to kill two birds with one big stone," said James Gee, the transit authority’s general manager. "We can hire illegal immigrants to operate the rickshaws, and we save money on fuel costs."

Gee says the agency is committed to moving America toward energy independence by replacing imported petroleum with renewable energy such as sweaty immigrants.

"Hey, those scrawny little immigrants work their asses off," he laughed. "I had a Vietnamese kid run me from downtown to Franklin Park the other day up Monroe Street. You should have seen that sucker huffing - it was worth the buck I tipped him just for the chuckle."

Gee downplayed concerns that the rickshaw service exploits immigrants.

"Hey man - they don't have to take the job," he said. "We can always call the INS and let them deal with these people. Besides, who else is going to pull one of these things? Not me, that's for sure."

Among the benefits of the new rickshaw program, said Gee, are the low maintenance costs.

"You grease the wheel bearings and give Pedro new flip-flops, and you are good to go," he said. "These machines are built to last, and when a driver braks a leg or something, you stick another body in there. We should have done this years ago."

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?