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Weed Man: Nothing Says 'I Love You' Like a Half-Ounce of Dope

Guest editorial by "Piper," a local pharmaceuticals rep

Many of you are wondering what to get that special someone for Valentine's Day. Listen - nothing says "I Love You" like a half-ounce of Maui Wowie, freshly picked by dirty immigrants on a hemp collective just outside of Wailuku.

Imagine the look on her face when she opens the package and smell that telltale aroma of quality weed. You'll be more than golden, my friend - you are now The Chosen One.

She'll spark one up, and the sparkle of love will fill her eyes, or at least the dull haze of someone stoned out of their fucking gourd.

Go ahead, sniff it, man - you KNOW you want to!

Finally, if you're not sure exactly what drugs that loopy lover of yours is on, just stick a $50 bill and my number on a scrap of paper (419-DOPEMAN). If there's one thing that an addict is always happy to see it's hard, cold, spendable cash.

So let Piper and his crew do the work for you this Valentine's Day. Our cellphones are on 24/7, unless we're sleeping off a bender of our own. We're always happy to get a call from you, unless you're demanding a 3 am delivery of something stupid, like, say, a single joint or a $10 crack rock, in which case - call us when you have some real money, homes.

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Nothin says lovin like something from (Piper) and the coven...
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