.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

3/04/2007

Dysfunctional Couple United by Captain Morgan, Pills

Dysfunctional, codependent couple (Toledo, OH) Toledo couple Richard and Greta Carmody have found that the secret to relationship longevity is found in an unusual source: intoxicants.

"Pretty simple - Greta doesn't give me any shit about doing what I do," said Richard, knocking back a triple shot of Captain Morgan. "She gives me space, and stays the hell out of stuff that really isn't any of her goddamn business. Am I right?"

Greta said that she enjoys reading, knitting, and watching television.

"I really like that show 'House,' with that crazy Doctor Greg," she said, eyeing husband Richard as he downed a couple of Vicodin. "Sometimes Richard watches it with me, don't you, Richard? Do you need some ice, sweetie?"

Captain MorganCaptain Morgan, bringing people together and getting some of them drunk since 1944

Grunting in the kitchen, Richard seemed oblivious to his wife's comments in his effort to find another bottle of rum. Greta told Toledo Tales reporters that she "totally understands" what Richard has been going through.

"Since he lost his job at Jeep, he's been under a lot of stress," she said of Richard's 2002 firing. "And he's having trouble sleeping, too, so I try not to be a sourpuss."

Ultimately, though, Greta just knows what the limits are, said Richard.

"She almost never crosses the line, you know?" he asked, opening a pint of his favorite spiced liquor. "And when she does, let's just say that she jumps back on the right side real quick."

Labels: ,


# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 3:38 PM
Comments:
Captain Morgan, keeping dysfunctional households dysfunctional for well..., decades ;-)
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 9:01 PM
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?