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3/27/2007

Secretary Spends Workday Xeroxing Her Naughty Bits

By Billy Pilgrim, Toledo Tales Rogue Editor

Wilson in a rare moment of clothed professionalism

Gail Wilson, the lone receptionist for Metal Management—one of the Toledo area’s most prominent metal recyclers—has, by most accounts, a “boring-ass job.”

So it is no surprise, then, that the voluptuous Wilson spends most of her days photocopying various parts of her naked body, often contorting her limbs in awkward, yet sensuous, poses.

“Billy, let me level with ya,” Wilson remarked while taking a long, luxurious drag off of a Virginia Slim. “Most days this place is deader than a Louisiana nursing home after Katrina. In fact, I’m not even sure how we stay in business. Who the fuck recycles copper wire? If I didn’t Xerox these bodacious ta-ta’s, I’d go out of my mind.”

When asked if she feared the reprisal of lower management if ever caught in the act—or worse, egregious sexual advances from a male colleague—Wilson seemed perfectly confident in her ability to defend her honor.

“Most of the old bastards around here couldn’t get it up even if a Playboy playmate spoon-fed their wrinkled asses a whole bottle of Viagra,” Wilson cackled. “Besides, I have some dignity. Just because I'm a hot MILF who likes to make avant-garde collages from photocopies of her cooch doesn’t mean I sleep around.”

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Comments:
Ye gads, what horrible imagery.

MILF in this case means MUTHAS I'd Like to FORGET. . .
 
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