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4/07/2007

Idiot Toledo Kid Keeps Burning Self With Curling Iron, Matches

Goofy kid really did it this time

(Toledo, OH) An incredibly stupid local child continually finds ways to hurt himself, according to family members.

7-year-old Justin Halford's most recent bout of imbecility involved burning himself on the legs, back, and buttocks with a curling iron. His mother, Priscilia Crawford, said that Justin's brainlessness even amazes her sometimes.

"Lord, I swear I don't know if that kid has any brains," she chuckled, crushing out a Marlboro Light. "No matter how many times we talk to him, he still finds another way to hurt himself. Why, just last week he threw himself down a flight of stairs, the moron."

Crawford said that Justin seems to be impervious to pain.

"No matter how many times he pressed that curling iron on his leg, he just kept on doing it over and over," she said, sipping a Miller Genuine Draft. "Tell you the truth - I think he's not right in the head. Anyone who keeps on burning himself like that must have a couple of screws loose in the old gourd, if you ask me."

Toddler picture of Justin after the clumsy oaf jumped off the changing table

Crawford said that she hopes that Justin grows out of his tendency to hurt himself in foolish ways.

"That retarded stuff might just kill that boy some day, yes sir," she said, pausing to smack the shit out of Justin's little sister. "I just hope he gets some common sense before he really hurts himself. If brains were french fries, that stupid kid couldn't fill up a Happy Meal."

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# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 3:47 PM
Comments:
Is Jason perhaps trying to curl his pubes, and just isn't very good at it?
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 7:53 PM
 
Don't you people get it. It's self injury and yes, it's a real psychological problem, but it ISN'T something to go poking fun at. He's not an "idiot", he needs help (and whoever started calling him an idiot should be utterly ashamed of themselves).

I can only hope someone's wised up by now and gotten this poor kid some assistance.


# posted by Blogger H.B. Pattskyn : 6:03 PM
 
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