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4/02/2007

Local Dog Exiled to Yard During NCAA Final

(Toledo, OH) A local canine interviewed by Toledo Tales said that he is "hurt and pissed" that his owners relegated him to the backyard during the NCAA Final between Ohio State and Florida.

Hopper, a black-and-white dog of multiple ancestries, also expressed his disappointment at missing yet another piece of sports history.

"Oh yeah, it's the same thing every good game: 'Doggie go outside,'" muttered an obviously perturbed Hopper. "Well, I got some news, pal: Doggie gonna go and fetch a TEC 9mm and bust up this crib if he gets shafted again during a big game. Bastards."

Hopper said that he has missed "just about every" sporting event worth watching in the five years he has lived with his owners.

"Super Bowl, World Series, Wrestlemania - you name it, I missed it," he said, gnawing on the exterior cable hookup. "Let's see how good the game comes in after I grind this wire down to bare metal."

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# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 8:32 PM
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