.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

4/02/2007

Local Dog Exiled to Yard During NCAA Final

(Toledo, OH) A local canine interviewed by Toledo Tales said that he is "hurt and pissed" that his owners relegated him to the backyard during the NCAA Final between Ohio State and Florida.

Hopper, a black-and-white dog of multiple ancestries, also expressed his disappointment at missing yet another piece of sports history.

"Oh yeah, it's the same thing every good game: 'Doggie go outside,'" muttered an obviously perturbed Hopper. "Well, I got some news, pal: Doggie gonna go and fetch a TEC 9mm and bust up this crib if he gets shafted again during a big game. Bastards."

Hopper said that he has missed "just about every" sporting event worth watching in the five years he has lived with his owners.

"Super Bowl, World Series, Wrestlemania - you name it, I missed it," he said, gnawing on the exterior cable hookup. "Let's see how good the game comes in after I grind this wire down to bare metal."

Labels: , , ,


Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?