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4/05/2007

Obscene Caller Misses Days of Heavy Breathing

(Sylvania, OH) Many Americans have readily embraced emerging the technological innovations of the past twenty years.

Perry Yeagher, though, says that his hobby of making obscene telephone calls is "all but destroyed" by the changing world of communications.

"First it was the Caller-ID machines, and then the star-69 crap," he said, placing a call to an elderly Toledo woman. "Nowadays nobody even answers their phones. What's the point of talking nasty to an answering machine?"

Yeagher said that he has tried to change with the times, but his efforts have been futile.

"I started trolling the Net for instant messaging handles," he said, hanging up after getting another machine. "But you lose something when you try to type a creepy moan into that little AIM box. That, plus they just block you when you get freaky."

AIM not as threatening, says Yeagher

Worst of all, said Yeagher, are the responses of his AIM victims.

"With phone calls, you could sometimes hear the terror in their voices, that little twinge of fear that gets me off," he said, trying another number. "And then the bitch on AIM types 'lmfao u r so fnny mb i wish i was jst like u b/c u totally roxors my boxors.' Screw this - I can't get off on stupidity like that."

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