Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) Neighborhood voyeur Evan Pisanelli remembers a time when peering through your bedroom window was "something special."

"I made sure to get to your house about 10:00 every night when you were getting ready for bed," he admitted. "The sight of your half-naked tush was worth the effort to climb up your maple tree."

Unfortunately, said Pisanelli, your tendency to snack in bed is becoming a "real turn-off," as you have begun to put on more than a few extra pounds.

"There was a time when you would bend over while putting on your underwear and I could still see that nice firm stomach," he wistfully recalled. "Those days are long gone, my friend. Frankly, you are getting fatter than a fly in an outhouse, and I think I speak for both of us when I say it's time for you to shape up."

Left: Worried about your health

Pisanelli said that he has been "really hesitant" to broach the subject with you up to this point.

"Let's face it - you are kind of sensitive about your weight, and I am not trying to give you an ultimatum," he said, polishing his binoculars. "And Lord knows we all are. But if you want this relationship to move to the next level, I think you might want to start counting calories. I want us to both grow old together, watching our grandchildren frolic around the house in their tighty-whities. Don't you?"

Labels: Peeping Tom, voyeurs