.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Toledo Peeping Tom Worried About Your Waistline

(Toledo, OH) Neighborhood voyeur Evan Pisanelli remembers a time when peering through your bedroom window was "something special."

"I made sure to get to your house about 10:00 every night when you were getting ready for bed," he admitted. "The sight of your half-naked tush was worth the effort to climb up your maple tree."

Unfortunately, said Pisanelli, your tendency to snack in bed is becoming a "real turn-off," as you have begun to put on more than a few extra pounds.

"There was a time when you would bend over while putting on your underwear and I could still see that nice firm stomach," he wistfully recalled. "Those days are long gone, my friend. Frankly, you are getting fatter than a fly in an outhouse, and I think I speak for both of us when I say it's time for you to shape up."

Left: Worried about your health

Pisanelli said that he has been "really hesitant" to broach the subject with you up to this point.

"Let's face it - you are kind of sensitive about your weight, and I am not trying to give you an ultimatum," he said, polishing his binoculars. "And Lord knows we all are. But if you want this relationship to move to the next level, I think you might want to start counting calories. I want us to both grow old together, watching our grandchildren frolic around the house in their tighty-whities. Don't you?"

Labels: ,

So, how cum this perv and I have never crossed paths?

Maybe he works a different neighborhood???

Never caught
Never arrested
Never indicted

So far... ;-)
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?