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5/22/2007

Listen - There's a Lot Worse Words Than 'Ho'

Guest editorial by Nathan Higgins, 4th grader at St. Rose

Boy, it seems like the TV is filled all the way up with stupid-heads talking about the N-word and the H-word and the B-word and blah blah blah.

But, as someone who has been called some terrible things in gym class, I'm here to let you kno there's a lot worse things you can be called than "ho."

Like "pootie-head," for example. Ever miss an easy layup in the Boys-versus-Girls basketball game and have thirty people screaming: "POOTIE-HEAD! POOTIE-HEAD! NATHAN'S GOT A POOTIE-HEAD!!!"

Well? Have you?

Well I have, and it's not a fun time, let me tell you. Or how about "Mr. Pee Pants?" That's what I got called for most of third grade because I came back from the boy's bathroom and there was a water spot in the front of my pants because I stopped at the drinking fountain and some stupid-head stuck gum in the spigot and water squirted everywhere including my pants and just because I sometimes have nighttime accidents doesn't mean I pee my pants in the boy's bathroom at school and don't you think I would have waited until my pants dried if I really peed on them?

Or how about "booger-eater?" THAT'S a nasty one, for sure. In second grade Jacob Moeller called that weird kid Gary Phillips who doesn't go to St. Rose any more "booger-eater," and he went to the back of the room and cried and I would have said something to Jacob but I used to go to Gary's house and play Super Mario and I thought he would start calling me "booger-eater" if he knew I was sticking up for Gary so I drew pictures of Spiderman on my desk instead.

So the next time you hear the stupid-heads going boo-hoo about the N-word or the B-word or the H-word, just remember Gary Booger-Eater. I mean Gary Phillips.

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