Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) A local canine interviewed by Toledo Tales believes that a pair of Russian wolfhounds are actually part of a terrorist cell.

Hopper, a black-and-white dog of multiple ancestries, said that he has been "closely monitoring" the suspicious-looking dogs for years now, but no one seems to be listening to his warnings.

"Listen - these dogs cheered when the Twin Towers and the Pentagon were hit on 9/11. They actually called it 'beautiful.' Can you believe this shit?" he yapped. "Terrorist-loving thugs like this should never be given the benefit of the doubt - haul 'em off to Guanatamo Bay straight away, I say."

Hopper added that he is "frightened" that the wolfhounds are plotting a deadly local attack.

"The government knows of at least 12 Hamas, Hezbollah, and al-Qaeda terror cells in New York, Flint, Phoenix and Philadelphia. These are groups that train members to pack themselves with explosives and detonate themselves on subways, on buses and in shopping malls," he barked. "Just look at those shifty bastards over there. Most of you want to keep your heads in the sand not wanting to look at the terror problems we face, but Hopper is on guard 24/7. Y'all just need to listen to me, that's all."

Labels: al Qaeda, Hamas, terror, terrorists