Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) Local slacker Kevin Beauchamp, who thought he lost every last bit of gumption last month, discovered another smidgen of motivation that he promptly frittered away on video games.

"For a quick minute there, I thought about applying for a job," he said from his couch. "But it passed. It passed."

Beauchamp said that he remains "hopeful" there may be yet more motivation in his system.

"It could happen, man," he said, attempting to grab a bag of potato chips on an end table with his toes. "All I'm saying is it might be to early to count out the Kevster in the old game of chasing the Success Gods, you know?"

Friends say that Beauchamp, who admits to being "less motivated than a temp worker at a sleeping bag factory on a warm night," has not worked in three months.

"The dude is lazier than an NFL player in a non-contract year," noted roommate Patrick Jurgens, who has been paying most of the rent during Beauchamp's recent slackery. "If it wasn't for the fact that I've been nailing his sister, Kev would have been out on the street weeks ago. I swear to God - he better pray she keeps putting out."

Labels: laziness, slacker, Toledo