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6/19/2007

Bob Recommends You Check Out USA Network's Burn Notice

Subcomandante Bob has been asked to write about
USA Network's Burn Notice, a new spy program that debuts on June 28. The setup is that respondents are supposed to put together a survival scenario should they ever find themselves as a burned CIA operative, just like Burn Notice's protagonist Michael Weston.

Unfortunately, Bob has tremendous real-life experience in this field, having served in revolutionary movements in Latin America during the 1980s before his next career as an accordion repairman who made house calls (don't ask).

In a moment's notice Bob has the ability to completely change his appearance and forge a new identity. There are at least 10 guys at the homeless shelter where Bob is staying who are experts in obtaining credit cards, personal information, and any other necessary items, like how to hide a body or how to remove the bruised parts off of fruit found in a dumpster.

Plus, Bob knows 172 different ways to kill an opponent without leaving DNA-carrying evidence behind.

But be sure to check out the new show Burn Notice on USA Network. It looks like a real hum-dinger, and Bob might be able to learn another cool way to make an intercontinental ballistic missile out of Corn Flakes and baby wipes.


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