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6/19/2007

Senior Citizen Insists on Paying by Check

By Billy Pilgrim, Toledo Tales Rogue Editor

Fleming’s Withered Hands at Work

(Toledo, OH)—Gerty Fleming, 75, a Toledo native, is a typical senior citizen: she likes decaffeinated coffee, crossword puzzles, and the early bird special at Bob Evans.

Despite her impressive vitality, however, Fleming refuses to make any purchase by cash or credit card, thus slowing the entire universe to a grinding halt every time she ventures into public.

“I was stuck behind her at Kroger last week, and almost beat myself to death with a cantaloupe,” remarked James Cafferty, a local mechanic. “I can deal with the coupons and the idle small talk, but Jesus — who writes a check for $16? She didn’t even know what store she was in.”

Fleming’s archaic method of payment has led to several altercations in recent weeks, but unfortunately she is determined to thwart the speed of modern consumerism.

“My husband James did two tours in Korea, and always paid by check,” Fleming boasted in an exclusive interview with Toledo Tales. “If that isn’t good enough for those Latinos and their precious fruit stand, than I’ll take my business elsewhere. I have my pride, you know.”

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# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 7:21 PM
Comments:
Cursive and legible now, can't be makin them s's a lookin like 5's.
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 5:21 PM
 
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