Toledo Tales

A Guest Editorial by Nathan Higgins
4th Grader at St. Rose

My parents are pretty dumb. I wouldn’t say they’re nanny-poop heads, but sometimes they come close. Anyway, last night they sent me to bed early. And instead of playing video games or watching a DVD or playing with our collie Sparks they went and did some wrestling AGAIN!

Sometimes you gotta wrestle. One time I wrestled with Mark Vewinski because he took my pretzels at lunch and I was like “hey dumbface those are my pretzels why don’t you tell your mom to stop drinking so much!” And so we had to wrestle right there in cafeteria.

But Mom and Dad aren’t even angry when they wrestle. They normally do it after a glass of wine, or Mom has a really good day at work and then Dad rubs her feet and they just talk and talk and like I’m not even there.

And boy are they loud! The mattress goes boink-boink and I can’t even read comic books when they wrestle and it’s like the whole house shakes. I wish they wouldn’t do it so close to bedtime, like maybe after breakfast would be better when they have coffee and juice and bagels and I’m not trying to get some sleep because I have a big quiz on fractions the next day.

Thank gosh it only lasts for a few minutes. I think Mom always wins, because I can hear Dad say something like “Jesus” or “Uggggggh” and he’s all out of breath like Mom pinned him real good and had him in a headlock and maybe even gave him a Wet Willie.

So Mom and Dad, if you read this, give the wrestling a break, will ya? It’s like what you always tell me and Jimmy Baxter about climbing trees: it seems fun now, but just wait until someone falls down and breaks their arm.

Labels: children, parents, parents wrestling