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Local Alcoholic Says You Should "Shut Your Shit Up"

Drunk guy (Toledo, OH) Marlon Tavares has a problem with you.

"I see you over there lookin' at me and shit," he said in your direction. "You think you're all bad and shit? Then come right the fuck over, you little whatever. I'll fuck your shit up and shit."

The problem apparently began when you entered his "personal space," which seems to extend about 100 yards in any direction Tavares looks.

"Yeah, you're all big and bad and shit," he added, pausing to take a long pull from his bottle. "But you ain't never messed with someone till you started messin' with me. I'll fuck your shit up and shit."

Tavares added that he has a "piece of vice" for you.

"Here's a piece of vice, m'friend: DON'T-START-NO-SHIT-WITH-ME," he said, punctuating his oratory with a belch. "Just because you think you're bad and shit, don't make you bad and shit. Am I right?'

Pausing to wipe his face on his sleeve, Tavares answered his own rhetorical question.

"You bet your mothernothing ass I'm right and shit," he said menacingly.

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I think somebody needs a hug.., AND a SHIT!

I am officially declaring myself a
Marlon Tavares homie.

I am down with that.

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