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9/09/2007

Local Voyeur Believes You Need to Spend More Shower Time on Your "Stink Zones"

(Toledo, OH) Neighborhood voyeur Evan Pisanelli, who spends a great deal of time gazing through your windows, has some recommendations about your shower regimen.

"Quite frankly, you are spending way too much time washing parts of your body that never stink," he noted. "Quite frankly, your shower priorities are quite skewed."

Pisanelli said that your obsession with washing your elbows is "downright puzzling."

"I swear to God - you spent two minutes with that loofah sponge on your elbows. Your ELBOWS, for Chrissakes," he said, shaking his head. "Meanwhile you never so much a ran a washcloth down your ass crack. Now, I'm no olfactorologist or anything, but I got to believe the butt region generates more stink particles per square inch than just about any part of your body."

The time you spend washing you chest is "gratifying," said Pisanelli, but he is concerned you might be neglecting potential sources of body odor.

"Look - letting shampoo and soap dribble down to your toes is no way to get rid of that stale Cheetos smell you've got going. I should know - I sniff your socks every time you leave them out on the deck," he added. "And that quickie blast of water under your arms is no replacement for a good armpit scrubbing. Frankly, my friend, you need a refresher course in showering, and your next-door neighboors simply out-clean you in every category. I just thought you should know, that's all."

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Comments:
Hey Evan, how dey hanging?

Long time no see, heh, heh, heh...

Since I moved to the new place, we've kinda lost touch. Still out beating the bushes I see.

Me?

Oh, I'm semi-retired; that foot chase last summer kinda put a damper on my browsing nights.

I still stop by that one place, you know which one ;-), but I haven't run into you there lately.

Whatsa matter, you still hung up on those 12 & 13 year-olds? Is 15 too old for ya?

Just kidding a bit ole bud, keep your eyes on the prize and keep watchin out for da law ;-)
 
I had reached many of the same conclusions independently. However,
I had not thought of giving my elbows
more than a light scrubbing. My elbows feel so clean now! If more people took the time to share such insights, we would be an even kinder, gentler, cleaner country.
 
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