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10/26/2007

Chick at the Mall Had Hooters the Size of Small Planets, Notes Local Exaggerator

(Toledo, OH) Local embellishment specialist Dwayne Baxter told Toledo Tales reporters that a young woman at Westfield Shopping Center was especially attractive.

"Dude - this chick had tits bigger than a couple of ripe pumpkins," he enthused. "I swear to God those hooters just about bounced in my face clear across the food court."

Baxter said that the beautiful woman had a noticeable effect on his state of arousal.

"Listen - looking at that ass made me hornier than a busload of Boy Scouts passing a nudist camp," he recalled. "My cock was harder than a 4-day-old loaf of French bread, brother, and I could tell she was ready to take every last inch of my raging man-meat."

Unfortunately, said Baxter, there were complications in what had appeared to be shaping up as a memorable sexual encounter.

"Turns out I just hit the fucking lottery: fifty grand!" he said. "So I'm thinking: 'Nail this bitch, or head to Columbus and collect my cash.' I finally decided that I could buy a truckload of strippers with fifty grand, so I told the supermodel to take a rain check. Hell, I'm surprised I can even remember that mall chick, what with the wild-ass weekend I spent with those Ohio State cheerleaders I picked up in Columbus. I swear to God I never knew chicks who were so into anal and oral sex as those two crazy coeds! Man, I am aching like dry ice on an abcessed tooth today, mister."

Comments:
Baxter does seem to be a "family values" kind of guy, now that you mention it ;-)
 
I saw her too!
 
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