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10/16/2007

Local Dog "Betrayed" by Neutering Ruse

Black dog of mixed ancestry (Toledo, OH) Hopper, a local canine of uncertain ancestry, expressed "shock and shame" at the deceptive tactics that led to his recent castration.

"Sure - it was all 'Wanna go for a ride?' and 'Let's go bye-bye!' and 'Wanna treat?'" Hopper recalled, visibly agitated at the memory. "Next thing I know the vet is sawing off my gonads and sewing me up with industrial grade wire. You people are bastards, just complete bastards."

Hopper said that there was "more than just the physical pain" involved in the fateful trip to the veterinarian's office.

"Let's face facts: I was totally fucked over, pure and simple," he noted. "How you would feel if somebody promised you a free BMW or Prada purse and then sliced off your genitalia? Pretty damned low, that's how."

As a result of the "nasty trickery," added Hopper, there will be consequences.

"Mark my words: this is personal, and there WILL be payback. You can count on it, my friend," he said, pausing to lick his still-aching scrotum. "I will use my fury against you, and I will get revenge. When my fury is unleashed against you, you will know that I, Hopper, spoke to you while I was in castratorical recovery, and that your sick games brought on a world of pain. Believe it. Either that, or I will leave loose turd-piles in your jacket pocket and in your shoes. But either way, Hopper WILL have his vengeance."

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# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 5:13 PM
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