.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

12/08/2007

Just Because You're at Church in December Doesn't Mean God Won't Forget You've Slacked at Mass All Year

A Toledo Tales Guest Editorial
by Father Jon O’Brien


Sure, you and your family are all smiles, walking up to me after Mass and shaking my hand like you are regulars here. And there was no way I could miss the way you made such a show of dropping that $20 bill in the collection plate, so I'm sure that you're prouder than a retarded kid coming home with a macarnoi wreath.

But don't get to thinking God is fooled by your sudden appearance at church during Advent, people.

You see, while Santa Claus knows when you are sleeping and awake, God knows every last detail about your miserable lives, like when you skipped church to watch reruns of SpongeBob Square Pants, or that time in high school when you were drunk and you felt up your 14-year-old cousin at Thanksgiving.

Yes, even that.

So if you want to make it right with the Man Upstairs, I suggest that you'd better start making Mass a regular part of your routine, instead of being less visible than a gay black man at a GOP fund-raiser.

Labels: , ,


Comments:
Yup, in order to cover your bases, you should at least show up at Christmas and Easter.

And forget about the 20's lay a C note on the priest each time will ya?

He's got to eat too ;-)
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?