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12/08/2007

Just Because You're at Church in December Doesn't Mean God Won't Forget You've Slacked at Mass All Year

A Toledo Tales Guest Editorial
by Father Jon O’Brien

Sure, you and your family are all smiles, walking up to me after Mass and shaking my hand like you are regulars here. And there was no way I could miss the way you made such a show of dropping that $20 bill in the collection plate, so I'm sure that you're prouder than a retarded kid coming home with a macarnoi wreath.

But don't get to thinking God is fooled by your sudden appearance at church during Advent, people.

You see, while Santa Claus knows when you are sleeping and awake, God knows every last detail about your miserable lives, like when you skipped church to watch reruns of SpongeBob Square Pants, or that time in high school when you were drunk and you felt up your 14-year-old cousin at Thanksgiving.

Yes, even that.

So if you want to make it right with the Man Upstairs, I suggest that you'd better start making Mass a regular part of your routine, instead of being less visible than a gay black man at a GOP fund-raiser.

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# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 3:17 PM
Comments:
Yup, in order to cover your bases, you should at least show up at Christmas and Easter.

And forget about the 20's lay a C note on the priest each time will ya?

He's got to eat too ;-)
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 4:08 PM
 
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