.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

12/10/2007

Latta to Unveil New "Weirauch is a Filthy Whore" Ads


Ohio Republican Bob Latta, running for Congress in Ohio's Fifth Congressional District, announced today that his campaign will launch a new round of attack ads against Democratic congressional candidate Robin Weirauch.

The television and radio spots will address what the Latta campaign describes as "personal failures" of their opponent.

"Quite simply, Robin Weirauch is the skankiest, nastiest, piece of trash I have ever met, and I know some real human filth," noted Latta. "She's so nasty, if she threw her underwear on the wall, it would stick."

Latta indicated that the new campaign had been initiated in response to a "lack of enthusiasm" for earlier attack ads, as well as being in response to Weirauch's "Bob Latta Murdered JFK" ads.

"I have to admit, I was surprised when the 'Robin Weirauch is a terrorist' and 'Robin Weirauch is a socialist' spots failed to resonate with the voters," he admitted. "Still, the 'Robin Weirauch is a filthy whore' spots look like a can't-miss campaign."

Latta provided Toledo Tales reporters with some hints of the upcoming commercials.

"We Photo-shopped her head over this porno with some crackwhore taking on eleven homeless dudes," he chuckled. "Then we followed it up with an ominous-sounding voiceover asking: 'Do you want the STD-carrying super-slut Robin Weirauch being a role model for your daughters?' My God - that commercial says it all. Besides, the only thing nastier than Robin Weirauch is the Kleenex I filled this morning, what with my sinus infection and all. And Robin Weirauch is so nasty, she'd probably eat that Kleenex. Hey - get the ad agency on the phone - we need to update the 'filthy whore' spots."

Labels: ,


# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 11:32 AM
Comments:
That man will stop at nothing - Machiavelli would be proud!!!!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 2:32 PM
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?