.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


High Fiber Meal Gives Local Man His Own Super Bowl

(Toledo, OH) The incessant gut rumblings, which began for Toledo resident Paul Montague "four hours after a bowl of All-Bran," bode well for the local man.

His decision to choose a high-fiber cereal over a breakfast of leftover pizza gave Montague what he termed his "own personal Super Bowl."

"The first score was a little dump-off, nothing too fancy," he recalled. "But it was the second one - the long bomb - that told me my bowels were really cooking."

Montague said that the next two touchdowns were the result of "intestinal fortitude."

"Both were running scores, and on both plays I thought I wasn't going to make it," he said. "Both scores were the result of some lightning quick moves and lucky breaks, since the can was empty each time. Otherwise, I was looking at fourth and shart."

Capping the scoring for Montague was a late score by the defense.

"I wasn't sure if I had any more in me, so I allowed a safety just to be prudent," he noted of the unusual call to sit on the toilet without an urge to defecate. "Better to give myself room for a free kick, if you know what I mean."

Labels: ,

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?