.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

9/12/2008

Jaywalking: NOT a Victimless Crime

Guest editorial by Edith Draheim,
pedestrian activist


I see you impatient people crossing the street any which-way, and I am shocked at your selfishness and bad attitude. Crossing walks and pedestrian crossing lights were invented for a reason, folks, and that reason is PUBLIC SAFETY.

Whose theory is it that jawalking is a victimless crime? I'll tell you: it’s the reckless pedestrians who race headlong across the street who spew those myths that there is no one hurt in this rampant wave of street crime.

And who are the victims, you ask? Let's start with the truly outstanding and industrious pedestrian, who follows all the rules but gets passed up by speed demons in expensive walking shoes. Sidewalks are about fundamental fairness. Not everyone walks exceptionally well, but the sidewalks were designed to level the playing field, so to speak. Jaywalkers reinforce distorted notions of superior mobility, and bring a sense of failure to those whose legs prevent them from dashing through traffic like a meth-crazed gazelle.

And what about the children, for gosh sakes? I am reminded that the average starting age for jaywalking is eight. EIGHT YEARS OLD! I think of these impressionable victims of the jaywalkers, the families involved, the prenatally damaged, the abused children of the jaywalkwers, and a society devastated by jaywalking. All of a sudden - those civil infractions seem like a joke.

And really: what's the big hurry, Mr. Fancy Pants? Whatever you are running to - or running from - will wait. If it won't it's probably something naughty you shouldn't even be doing, like my neighbor's boy Jimmy, who thinks no one's looking when he plays with his tally-whacker in his bedroom.

And you know what? Jimmy's a jaywalker, too. This is what they call one of those gateway behaviors: first jaywalking, then tally-whacking, and the next thing you know Jimmy's murdering little old ladies for their SSI checks.

Labels:


Comments:
In this era of web 2.0, we easily get nice & updated information for research purposes... I'd definitely appreciate the work of the said blog owner... Thanks!
................................

written term papers-Term Paper Samples
 
The above post is awesome I found your blog via Google and it is about my research academic writing strive to maintain the highest level of customer satisfaction.

college admission essay examples are great it is very use full information for students specially for those students who searching for college entry essays.

academic writing services
topics for argumentative essay
argumentative essay topics
argumentative topics
classification essay
topics for college essay
topics for compare and contrast essay
compare and contrast essay
good essay questions
essay on love
Narrative essay format
Personal narrative essay format
cause and effect essay
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?