Toledo Tales

Left: Mayoral cave of Jack Ford

(Toledo, OH) Toledo mayor Jack Ford, looking grouchy after a 3-1/2 year hibernation, yawned and vowed to run a vigorous campaign.

"We need to wake this city up," he said, scratching his left side. "And hey, is there any food at this press conference?"

Campaign aide Megan Vahey said that, despite his period of dormancy, the mayor has actually been very busy.

"Any time documents needed to be signed, someone would tiptoe into the mayoral cave and get a signature," she said. "Although that McCracken guy from O-I almost got mauled when he showed up unannounced one day last winter."

Toledo Zoo specialist Kevin Adamski said that, before entering hibernation, most species eat large amounts of food and store energy in fat deposits to survive the period of inactivity.

"It appears that Jack has emerged re-energized and well-rested," he said. "I am concerned though, that this election has disturbed his normal cycle."

Stretching his arms, Ford said he was not going to let comments from political opponents bother him.

"My team has accomplished a great deal since 2001," he said, rubbing his eyes. "My department heads knew what things I needed to wake up for."

Ford said that his hibernation was a plus on the campaign trail.

"After 3-1/2 years, I am ready and raring to go," he said. "My opponnents will still need to sleep at night, but I can go 24/7 through the whole campaign."