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Subcomandante Bob Freed; Nazis Collect $14.57

(Toledo, OH) The National Socialist Movement (NSM) released kidnapped editor Subcomandante Bob in exchange for a ransom purported to total $14.57.

"This vile piece of Jew jetsam has been nothing but trouble ever since we grabbed him," said NSM spokesperson Mark Martin, of the Dayton, OH NSM unit. "The fucker eats like it's his full-time job, and he hogs the TV remote. Good riddance, I say."

Subcomandante Bob, editor of the e-zines Codependent Collegian, Toledo Tales, and National Nitwit, was captured by members of the neo-Nazi group National Socialist Movement (NSM) Saturday at an undisclosed Toledo-area mental institution.

Speaking to supporters, he thanked those who "generously gave" funds toward his release.

"OK, there were seven of you, and that only averages about two bucks," he said. "But it's the spirit that counts."

The deranged editor chastised the other readers of the e-zines for their unwillingness to part with ransom cash.

"Yeah, you come onto the sites and get a free chuckle," he said. "But when the chips were down, only a few of you would come through. Guess it's good to know who your friends are, even if most of them are imaginary."

I'm glad you are okay Bob...I was ready to get all "MOMish" on their asses..

Hey Bob,

I knew you could do it (get on their nerves) and make them cut you loose ;-)

Welcome back!
Thanks, everyone. It was a grueling experience, and I hope that I am never kidnapped by these loons again.

Especially that Fausta, the Nazi Wonder Woman. Brrrrr - I still get shivers....
"Especially that Fausta, the Nazi Wonder Woman. Brrrrr - I still get shivers...."

Yeah, but along with the shivers, I'll bet she made your nipples get hard ;-)
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Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

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