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11/03/2005

Styrofoam Cup Endorses Mayor Ford

(Toledo, OH) Joining a long list of endorsees, a styrofoam cup today announced it will throw its support for current Mayor Jack Ford over his challenger, former mayor Carty Finkbeiner.

747045, a cup produced by the Dart Corporation, said that its decision was a "no-brainer."

"Given Finkbeiner's history of threatening subordinates with styrofoam cups, there is no way I could support him," said 747045. "With these actions Finkbeiner has shown an unacceptable pattern of styromania that is completely unacceptable in a public servant."

Styrofoam cups, according to 747045, are steadfast members of society who tackle thankless jobs.

"We hold your hot coffee, get chewed on by your kids, and we do it without complaint," said 747045. "However, we draw the line at being used as projectiles. For this reason, we cannot support Mr. Finkbeiner."

747045 is the spokesperson for a petrochemical product advocacy group known as Styrofoam Cups Against Recycling (SCAR), which seeks to let cups live out normal lives. Finkbeiner represents everything the group opposes, said 747045.

"Look, today he's throwing us at staff members, and then tomorrow he'll be laughing maniacally and melting us in microwaves," the cup said. "We cannot in good conscience offer an endorsement to this styrocidal lunatic."

Comments:
Oh, yeah?

Well the Coffeemug League of the American Nation (CLAN) is endorsing Carty Finkbeiner for the opposite reasons.

Styrofoam cups can withstand such treatment, but we ceramic coffeemugs are too fragile.

We are glad that Carty chose styrofoam over ceramic.

Yes, Carty has the CLAN's support.
 
I'd throw my support to one of the candidates if it weren't so darned comfortable ;-)

Why, it feels like no support at all!

(there's a nugget of truth in there.)
 
Hey, nice blog you've got here. :)
 
Ford should drink the coffee to keep him awake. He looks like he's asleep all the time.
 
Who would want styrofoam anyway, it's bad for the environment. People should always use REAL coffee mugs...

:-)
 
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