Toledo Tales

The seventh segment in continuous live coverage of Nazifest 2005 Mach 2

(Toledo, OH) A poll conducted by Zogby International found that 97% of Toledoans would very much like Bill White and the National Socialist Movement (NSM) to "kiss the fattest part of our asses."

The poll, which measured the responses of 1014 Toledoans, has a margin or error of +/- 4%.

Jonathan Livingwell, a spokesperson for Zogby, said that the firm was surprised by the overwhelming negative views of NSM.

"We figured we would find at least a couple of racists, but the closest we could get to a positive response was an old lady who thought we were selling life insurance," said Livingwell. "Clearly there is a trend among to Toledoans to find the NSM to be a bunch of blithering morons with a propensity to mate with cousins."

The Zogby poll found no difference in the views of different demographic groups.

"Pretty much all Toledoans think that the NSM is the most vile form of social expression," said Livingwell. "93% of Toledoans also agree with the statement that 'Bill White is a closet queen with a Nazi fetishism that suggests a latent repressed homosexuality.'"

One surprise among the findings: Toledoans are split on how NSM should be handled.

"63% agree with the statement that 'the police should allow the anti-Nazis to kick the ever-living shit out of the Nazis,'" said Livingwell. "The other 37% say that 'the police should allow local gang members to kick the ever-living shit out of the Nazis.' Either way, it's clear that all Toledoans would like to see the Nazis take a serious beating on December 10."