.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


FirstEnergy Officer Laughs Off $28 Million Fine

(Toledo, OH) Acknowledging that its employees covered up reactor head corrosion at a nuclear power plant, FirstEnergy has agreed to pay $28 million in fines, restitution and community service projects, the US Justice Department announced Friday.

Chief operating officer Richard R. Grigg scoffed at the fine.

"Hey man - we have a market cap of almost 17 billion," he laughed. "This will be about a $.04 drop in ividends to shareholders, and less than 1% drop in 2006 profits. Whoop-tee-fucking-doo!"

Other FirstEnergy officers were equally candid.

"We have learned much from this experience," said Gary Leidich, president of the company's nuclear operations. "But what we mostly learned is that the Justice Department is a toothless tiger that can be bought off like a cheap whore."

Investors seemed equally nonplussed at the news, with FirstEnergy shares falling $.69, or 1.34%. William Franfort, and analyst with Lehman Brothers, said that the fine was "just a cost of doing business."

"Hell, WorldCom got spanked with $750 million by bthe SEC in 2003," he chuckled. "I'm surprised FirstEnergy's stock didn't rise, seeing as how they got off so lightly."

Grigg said that FirstEnergy has a lot of work ahead of it in 206.

"Most of the corporate officers are getting our suits tailored for bigger pockets," he said. "We are puling in so much goddamn cash that we are running out of places to put it all. Hey - can I borrow that briefcase, pal?"

ugh, so true...corporate bastards
Knowing First Energy, they'll just price gouge Toledo for the next 30 years to pay off the $28 million dollar fine.
Plus a markup for the monopoly's guaranteed profit...

The customers get screwed for the fine AND for the (markup) profit on the fine while the First Energy honchos get fatter and fatter...
Blame Carty, J'Fo, and City Council for allowing Toledo Edison to remain a monopoly.
Also blame Jim Ruvalo, JRB's buddy, First Energy Lobbyist, and J'Fo's "Bagman."
Hi there
I was totally captivated by your blog page. Kept me wanting to keep on reading more.

jefferson nickles
hey Jefferson, why don't you use the verb "keep" again, you fucking spammer.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?