Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) WSPD afternoon personality Brian Wilson, whose soporific on-air manner generally forces listeners to nod off, recently angered his twelve remaining listeners by refusing to talk about bass fishing for the rest of the day.

"God dammit - there's more to life than bass fishing!" Wilson snapped at a caller named Elmer. "There's...walleye fishing, squirrel hunting, and pheasant flushing, too!"

Wilson, whose arrival at WSPD coincided with the demotion of popular morning host Bob Frantz, dismissed concerns about plummeting ratings.

"I wasn't brought here to improve Arbitron numbers, and I get paid the same no matter what," he said. "My job is to be as dull, lifeless, and non-controversial as possible to cool off the area power brokers who were pissed about Frantz and complained to the FCC. All I have to do is babysit this place for a few months until things settle down."

Interviewed by Toledo Tales, the caller known as Elmer expressed unhappiness with the new direction Wilson was taking.

"Bass fishing is my life, and I thought me and Brian had a good thing going," he said, staring at his shoes. "Then I find out that traitor not only hunts, but is a fly fisherman. You just can't trust anyone whose bait is floating on the water, if you know what I mean."