.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Finkbeiner Adds Hot Tub, Wet Bar To 22nd Floor

Left: Whooping it up in One Government Center

(Toledo, OH) After word of his new $9,996 executive shower leaked to the local press, Toledo mayor Carty Finkbeiner decided annouce all of the amenities added to the mayor's office.

"It is my pleasure to display our new mayoral hot tub," he smiled, gesturing toward the bubbling water. "This baby even has those high-powered jets for the lower lumbar region. Man, my lower lumbar sometimes gets pretty tightened up, especially when I am going all out on economic development."

Another new feature - a well-stocked bar, complete with a carbonated soda dispenser.

"When we are entertaining out-of-town businessmen, we want to show them how fun Toledo can be," said the mayor, clinking ice cubes into highball glasses. "When they leave we want them to think one word when they think of Toledo, and that word is 'Partytown!'"

Finkbeiner added that he hopes morale in City Hall will get a boost with the new facilities.

"We are having directors' meetings up here, and let me tell you, there is some real comraderie brewing here," he said, stripping to his bathing suit. "Everyone except that towel boy Larry, though. That kid needs to lighten up before he gets a mayoral ass-kicking, and don't think for a minute I won't do it myself, either." brrreeeport krugle

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

May this be
your time to laugh,
embrace & receive
personal peace,
Dr. Howdy

I feel so warm and fuzzy inside now - oh wait, it must have been the double shot of Stolichnaya.
Is that Frank Szollozi behind Carty with the backards hat guy with his arm around him??

Wait till I tell Ray Kest!
Is that Frank Szollozi behind Carty with the backards hat guy with his arm around him??

Poor Brian, he is soooooo Republican that he has RR tattoed on his butt cheeks.

[naturally, Bob's creative mind goes to work on this suggested visual]
It's nice to see Carty putting our hard earned taxpayer dollars to good use. Keep this in mind on April 15th when the sheeple of Toledo hand over their hard earned taxpayers to Heir Finkbeiner: Carty's giving the taxpayers a golden shower.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?