Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) The US Treasury Department has frozen the assets of another Toledo-based group, Girl Scouts of Maumee Valley Council, saying it also funnels money to terrorists.

This comes on the heels of an earlier announcement that KindHearts of Toledo is accused of having ties with the Holy Land Foundation, which is linked to Hamas, and the Global Relief Foundation, which is linked to the terrorist group al-Qaeda.

"We have been tailing these operatives for weeks as they go door-to-door raising money for terrorists," said FBI special agent Louis Nelson. "They may look like doe-eyed second graders, but these are coldblooded killers, folks."

One of the most telling clues in cookie sales was the lists of cookie purchasers.

"We found 37 people with the name "Mohammed" and 11 "Ahmeds" on these lists," said Nelson, holding up cookie order forms. "What more evidence do you people need?"

Nelson defended the government's steps as "necessary for freedom."

"Listen - we are dealing with terrorists who have infiltrated every community in the US," he said. "When cookies get sold, the terrorists win."

Eight-year old Samantha Biggens of Toledo, however, took issue with the announcement.

"I see London, I see France, I see Nelson's underpants," said the cookie-selling Girl Scout. "Oh - and he smells like dookie, too."
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