.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Council Approves Slavery Ordinance for Costco

(Toledo, OH) Toledo City Council today approved a waiver of the living-wage ordinance for the planned Costco store at the Westgate Village Shopping Center.

In addition, Costco will be permitted to purchase slaves to build and operate its Toledo location.

Councilman Rob Ludeman led the charge to promote enslavement.

"Look - these are not the 1950s, and Toledo must do anything it can to attract employers," he said. "Costco slaves will be given three square meals a day, and can purchase their freedom after two fiscal years."

Unlike traditional American slavery, Costco slave will not be purchased on the basis of race.

"We are pretty much going to snare anyone with a pulse," said Costco spokesman Pierre Riel. "Black, white, yellow - as long as they can lift a pallet of paper goods, they're OK by us."

Council also authorized millions in tax abatements for the wholesale grocer.

"It's the least we can do to thank Costco for choosing Toledo," said Ludeman to a group of visiting Costco officials. "Oh, I forgot to ask - will you guys need anything else? Maybe some hookers or blow? Whatever you need - you got it!" Berlusconi Proof

Slaves rule.

Wait a minute - that's not quite right - slaves, um, SERVE!
Atta boy Rob. ya dunn guud.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?