Toledo Tales

Left: Satellite photo of weed enrichment facilities

(Sylvania, OH) Tired of his neighbor's lackadaisical attitude toward lawn menaces, Sylvania resident Larry Incaviglia is about to take matters into his own hands.

"The lawn next door is a haven for chickweed, dandelions, and nutsedge," he said, pointing out pockets of suspected weed activity. "If Craig Perry is going to harbor rogue cells of weeds, I will have no choice but to act in a unilateral fashion to protect my lawn."

Attempts to mediate through the homeowner's association, said Incaviglia, have been futile.

"There's a lot of talk about possible sanctions - including leaving him out of the annual neighborhood garage sale in August - but the committee members are spineless," he said. "If I wait for them to act, the safety of my Kentucky bluegrass will be in jeopardy. Perry continues to thumb his nose at the community of homeowners."

Left: Incaviglia on patrol against lawn terrors

At this point, said Incaviglia, all possibilities for dealing with the weed enrichment facilities remain on the table.

"Perry continues to rebuff any overtures to open a dialogue about the threat of noxious weeds," he said. "I therefore am not ruling out any options, including hitting his entire property with a full-spectrum herbicide in the middle of the night to kill every living plant."

Another neighbor said Incaviglia, though "anal retentive about his lawn," nonetheless should not be taken lightly by the Perry household.

"I watched that guy use up like ten bottles of Roundup at the Wilson's house when they went on vacation last year," said Angela Kwiatkowski. "The Perrys had better realize that this guy means business." Why are you looking for hidden text?