.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Stale Chips, Chatty Girlfriend Ruin BCS Game for Local Man

(Toledo, OH) Sam Abershaid had been looking forward to seeing his Ohio State Buckeyes in the BCS Championship Game against the Florida Gators.

His evening, however, was "totally ruined" by a tragicomic series of misadventures.

"I sat down at kickoff, opened my bag of Fritos, and got ready to watch The Game. First thing I noticed was how stale these chips were," he said, showing reporters the offending bag. "It was too late to leave the house, and the only other edible snack food was fucking garlic Triscuits. Ugh."

Abershaid's enjoyment of the game, moreover, was also marred by the "non-stop" chatter of girlfriend Amy Pettit.

"I mean, I don't mind a couple of questions here and there, or cheering on the big plays," he said. "But she was blathering on about stupid shit, like asking me if I thought David Bowie's song "China Girl" was racist. What in the fuck does that have to do with the BCS Championship?"

Just you shut your mouth

Abershaid said that he reached the point - given the annoying commentary and unsatisfying snacks - where he was ready to simply shut the television off and go to bed.

"I would have been better off taping this shit and watching it when Amy goes to work tomorrow," he muttered, scratching his package. "Every second I have to listen to her screechy voice makes me want to stab my eardrums with shrimp skewers."

Labels: , ,

Could have been worse..
Like my circumstance...

Every time OSU started looking bad
(which was frequently)
D had the remote and switched to WWE's Raw

WTF happened in that game?
Troy Smith was lacking in
"wooby-the-rabbit" skills.

Still disgruntled.

sobriety test to post:
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?