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4/21/2007

Study Finds Link Between Loud Music, Undersized Genitalia

Pumping up the volume to compensate for a tiny schlong?

(Toledo, OH) A study by University of Toledo researchers found a direct correlation between high-decibel car stereos and diminuitive sexual organs of the male drivers of said vehicles.

Sociologist Eric Gelding's research team conducted the study between 2004 and 2006.

"Almost without exception, car owners blasting their vehicular stereos at levels above 85 decibels also possessed penises under four inches in erect length," said Gelding. "And those exceeding 100 decibels at twenty yards averaged under three inches of man-meat."

Gelding theorized that, like owners of extra-long vehicles, or men who insist upon 8 cylinders, drivers with excessively loud stereos may be trying to compensate for other inadequacies.

"Let's face it - if you are shortchanged in the cock department, and you had to endure those taunts in the locker room after ninth grade gym class, you are going to seek a way to reinforce your masculinity," he said, adjsuting his package. "I mean, a guy can only take being called 'Puny Pecker' so long before acting out."

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# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 3:32 PM
Comments:
And here I was under the impression that high decibel systems played within a confined space CAUSED shrinkage of the male genitalia...

Hooda thunk that the small genitalia caused the high decibel systems to be purchased/played. . .

82.55 mm and proud of it!
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 9:44 PM
 
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